Anyone who has herpes will confirm that the stigma is far worse than the actual thing.

It’s not like those pictures you see in 10th grade health class!

I was diagnosed a year ago and this site helped me so much, i just wanted to return the favor with a success story…

i got h from my ex-boyfriend after being with him for 3 years. i thought maybe we should break up because of other issues (marriage/kids), but i was so nervous of being single with h. anyway, one day i got the nerve and split up with him, and 3 months later i found myself in a position to sleep with someone i had a big crush on. we hung out (and made out and pawed at each other) for about 10 days before i decided the talk was imminent.

I practiced the talk in my head; i wanted to be direct, confident, and positive. i texted him that i wanted to talk in-person about something and invited him over to my apartment on a sunday afternoon. (i didn’t say what it was, nor did i indicate it was something “bad,” because if i were him, i’d get all riled up.) he came over and we chatted for a while about random things and then i said “listen, i wanted to talk to you about something. once upon a time, in a land far, far away, my ex-boyfriend gave me herpes.”

this guy is negative, but he reacted so calmly, he said “just so you know, i’m not freaking out!” i explained the ways to prevent transmission and told him that even in my last relationship, during most of which we weren’t using condoms or pills (my ex lied to me about taking the pills), it still took 3 years for me to get it. i also mentioned that anyone who has h will confirm that the stigma is far worse than the actual thing. it’s not like those pictures you see in 10th grade health class!

anyway, we moved on and started watching a movie, and clearly the talk didn’t prevent him from putting the moves on me, and the moves were smokin’ hot. we didn’t sleep together that day, i wanted to give us some breathing room, but a few days later we had sex and it was phenomenal! shattering climax, for real. we’ve been hooking up regularly for over a month now and there’s no pressure to make it serious.

so, here’s the moral of the story: not only can you handle being single with h, you can feel confident and sexy, you can meet someone just like you always did (i met this guy through work), and perhaps you won’t just survive the experience by the skin of your teeth, you could find some luscious, primal, totally obscene, scream-his-name-out kind of sex. you get the idea.

good luck everyone and thanks to all who contribute here. it really got me through my break-up.

stay strong

Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.