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Helpful advice and tips to find emotional healing and mental freedom from Herpes and the stigma it is often associated with. Always Remember…

Herpes simplex is not life threatening, statistically MOST people would test positive for Herpes antibodies, effective treatment is available, a lot of people rarely have symptoms and the stigma is worse than the disease!

This Post Has 4 Comments
  1. Hi,
    This is my first time posting on anything like this… In August 2015 I had been drinking with some friends. The guy I had met at a party messaged me asking to hang out and drink a little. When we met we instantly had a lot to talk about and he was beyond cute. So when he messaged me I had agreed to hang out and he came over to my house. We began drinking, after a few drinks we stared making out and I knew where things were leading. I have always been safe with sex. I lost my virginity to a guy I was dating for 3 months and continued dating for a year and a half. Things ended with that relationship and the following guys I had slept with I knew for a long time and ALWAYS used protection. After a few drinks with this guy I was very drunk and he said to me “I have this cut on me and I’m not 100% what it is but I think it’s herpes… It is almost healed and if I wear a condom you will be safe..” At this point I was so drunk, there was no way I could make a sane decision about it but I told him I was unsure. We continued drinking and before I knew it I became coherent half way through the sex and realized what I was doing and stopped immediately.. I had never been irresponsible with sex, but the alcohol must have made me feel invincible. For the next few days I was mortified that I had contracted the virus, constantly checking my self for any cuts. Approximately 5 or 6 days later I had this itch that would not go away and I knew what was going on. I was devastated I don’t think I have ever cried so much. How could I have contracted a virus when I had only slept with 4 people and have always been responsible? I went to the doctor and she first thought it was a yeast infection but I insisted she looked more.. She swabbed some of the sores and prescribed me Valtrex. The results came in about a week and a half later confirming my worst fears, I had contracted HSV-1 genitally. How could he have been so careless and put me in this position? How could I have been so dumb for someone who didn’t give 2 sh*ts about me? I was absolutely destroyed, I felt dirty and beat up, how could someone love me after this???? Fast forward 4 months. The second guy I had ever slept with was in my first year of university before I had contracted the virus. We had a rollercoaster of a relationship and recently reconnected. We were drinking one night and I decided I should tell him. At first he was like “I don’t care lets have sex” but I didn’t want him to go through what happened to be (even though I wasn’t having an active outbreak at the time). I told him to wait until the morning and think it through and to my surprise the next morning he stuck to what he said.. he held me and told me it was going to be okay. I insisted he waited and did some research. After doing so he become unsure if he wanted to but later decided I was worth it. We slept together for a few months starting with a condom and no daily antivirals and eventually no condom and no antivirals. Through out that whole relationship he DID NOT contract the virus. I’m not saying go ahead and do what I did by no means, but if you listen to your body you will know when an out break is going to happen. I have since broken up with that guy, been turned down by 2 guys when finding out about my virus, and had a f*ck buddy who was fine with my situation. Currently I’min a relationship with the most incredible guy who makes me feel beautiful and special, I honestly cannot tell you guys how lucky I am. He knows about my virus and still wants to be with me. What this virus has taught me is that if someone really cares about you they won’t care about the relatively benign skin condition. The thought of losing you will be more important to them than the thought of getting the virus. Also, I thought I would add, I have only had 3 outbreaks since the initial contraction over the period of a year and a half so I have not gone on daily antivirals but I’d love to hear someone’s opinion on them before going to get the prescription myself.

    Thanks so much for reading…
    -Nikki

    1. Wow thank you for sharing, I just found out last Friday that i have the virus and I’m so depressed and so upset with myself.

  2. I have read a lot of stories over the past month. Many of them begin with lines like ‘i thought herpes was only for the promiscuous! so not me!’ or ‘i caught herpes as an innocent baby being kissed by a relative with a cold sore!’…. followed by platitudes such as ‘eventually, i knew herpes didn’t make me a dirty whore, and you can too. uwu.’

    The thing is, that I caught herpes, orally and genitally, while working as a prostitute. Where do i go from there? I, in myself, have prepared for this a hundred times. But this time i had somebody else to think of, somebody who accepted my profession, my mental issues…. but though he tried, cannot accept my virus. It seems to me that each time I overcome a burden, life provides yet one more. I can bear this, alone. In a way it is one less thing to fear. But I dont want to be alone.

    I just want you all to consider that, in the fight to erase the stigma of the illness, which is certainly a noble cause, you shouldn’t throw those of us who are already despised and spat upon under the bus. The ‘stereotypical’ people who catch stds are also, shockingly, subject to stigma. Distancing yourselves from us will not promote true acceptance. I hope you have the empathy to see my point..

  3. I have had herpetic Whitlow on my right index finger And an infected labia majoris gland since April 2013. I struggle w anxiety and depression so that makes HSV very hard to deal with. In all these years I’m still trying to cope w it. I still haven’t forgiven my giver. My current partner is So Supportive yet every outbreak brings tears and pain and regret. I have a long way to go to Live my Life. I’m really glad this blog is here for us.

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