So I have been asked to post here on how I give the talk because I have given it many times and have never been rejected. I have been coming to this site for over 3 years and have chatted with several thousand Herpsters and have shared my technique several hundred times and was asked to post this here for others to reference.
I have had genital herpes for 25 years. At first I thought like many of you, that no one would ever want me again. I knew very little about the virus only that it had a bad stigma associated with it. This was back before Al Gore invented the internet and there was little info in the library. Fortunately I found the local ATL support group and going to their meetings helped me tremendously. Just seeing other, normal, people there with this helped a lot.
Another key in helping me cope with this was learning more about it. I found out that the virus that causes genital sores also causes cold sores and also a variation of the virus causes mononucleosis and chicken pox/shingles. I thought to my self that no one thinks those are bad things and it is basically the same virus. So it dawned on me that IT REALLY ISN’T THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
So when I meet someone I am interested in and it appears the relationship is going to turn physical, I just casually ask them if they have ever had cold sore. I then tell them I get them but not on my face. If they do not know what causes them I tell them. Of course they all ask about the risk of them getting it and I tell them that I will be taking antivirals daily while we date and that will reduce the risk significantly. I also take lysine and kelp every day too which also helps reduce the risk.
This article I have found is a great way of describing the risk and those who read it typically feel a lot better after having read it. I would recommend that you print this out and give it to the person you are having the ‘talk’ with: Herpes Simplex Virus 101
Like I said I have given the ‘talk’ many times over the years and have never been rejected. I have dated many women and to my knowledge I have never passed it along.
Good luck to you! I have lived a great life with this virus and you can too!
Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.