Relationships & Dating with Herpes
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Many people who find out they’re HSV+ feel like their dating and/or sex life is over. This initial reaction is common, yet exceedingly inaccurate.
It’s not a grounded belief. It’s pure emotion speaking, generated from the experience of shock—nothing more. Feelings have a way of making people crazy at times, as we all know. However, this doesn’t mean that they’re correct, as we all know as well.
Once education on HSV is provided, it becomes much easier to calm down and accept the reality of the situation. The reality of the situation is simply this: you have a virus. The virus is mostly harmless. It’s certainly not life threatening. And most of the time, it produces no symptoms.
On top of that, the majority of society also has the exact same virus.
There are more HSV+ people than there are HSV-. So… why is someone’s love life over again? It’s not. Case closed.
Here, we’re going to post real testimonials by real people who have successfully dated (and tied the knot), or who are successfully dating with HSV.
Obviously, since most of the population has it, people are generally doing just fine. However, this page will be dedicated to people who are HSV+, aware of their status, and have taken the time to write something about their situation on an online herpes message board or Website.
Real Life Stories of Love and Herpes
For anyone who requires more than numbers and facts to feel good, it is our wish that this section provides hope where it is needed. And, as stated in the previous section, new testimonies will be added here regularly as well.
If you’d like to share your dating or relationship success story on here, please post your comment below. The inspiration you provide will be greatly appreciated by anyone who needs it.
I joined 2 years ago when I was unexpectedly given this "gift" from a boyfriend who did not take any responsibility for it, and quickly said goodbye to him. I dealt with feeling angry, feeling disgusting, feeling heartbroken, feeling absolutely terrible... all of the awful things that you might also be going through. I dealt with wondering who I could trust and confide in. I dealt with having absolutely no hope in finding love, and wondered if I would ever have the chance to make love with someone (I was still a virgin). I pushed through it, and it was…
Many people who find out they’re HSV+ feel like their dating and/or sex life is over. This initial reaction is common, yet exceedingly inaccurate. It’s not a grounded belief. It’s pure emotion speaking, generated from the experience of shock—nothing more. Feelings have a way of making people crazy at times, as we all know. However, this doesn’t mean that they’re correct, as we all know as well. Once education on HSV is provided, it becomes much easier to calm down and accept the reality of the situation. The reality of the situation is simply this: you have a virus. The virus…
I’m a female and I felt like I’d be alone cause I had herpes and would be less desirable. Found out that many guys won’t mind if you’re honest and if they like you it shouldn’t be a problem. Comment originally published on the Herpes Forum.
I’m dating this AMAZING guy. First guy I’ve been involved with since I contracted HSV and he loves me for who I am. When I told him I had HSV I was crying hysterically and he looked at me like I was crazy because he said I had no need to be so upset. He almost laughed at me because he thought it was so ridiculous that I thought that having HSV could change his mind about me. He is so completely supportive of me and does not let HSV stop our relationship emotionally or physically. I have never been…
I was diagnosed with HSV1 & 2 in Mid-March after having my suspicions since December 2010. Throughout the whole ordeal I had a gf whom I loved and loved me, which made coping easier. She recently decided that she wasn’t into a long-term thing anymore and broke it off. So I now get to enjoy attempting to date with Herpes! I’m a really outgoing guy, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and have very few secrets. So I decided to just go for it. I’ve taken 5 different girls out so far, had the talk with all of them.…
I was talking to this sweet guy when i got diagnosed. I didn’t know him well enough so i just decided to tell him. I wasn’t sure if i would ever find anyone that would accept me. I started to lose hope….. Well we kinda forgot about it and started to date. Now we’re talking about getting married and having kids. He loves me for me and i couldn’t be happier. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
I had been ‘talking’ to a guy for a few months when I found out I had GHSV-1, we weren’t dating or anything, in fact he was deployed overseas at the time and he and I knew one another from mutual friends before he joined the Army. So, I’d just write him and talk to him to help him pass the time, shortly before he was to come home on leave, I found out I had GHSV-1, I’m assuming from a guy that I slept with when I was hammered one night but honestly, I’m not sure, it could have…
The first person I had sex with after my diagnoses was just over a year after I got it. I had told him about my herpes and that I didn’t really have many OBs. We started out using condoms, but after time stopped using them. We were together for about 4 years and I never passed it to him. If I was thinking I was going to have an OB we withheld, obviously I only took Acyclovir during my OBs and didn’t do any suppression meds, but I think I’m a lucky one. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes…
Okay, I feel silly. After reviewing this thread, I realize I’ve been telling people that I outlined our system for protecting my partner here–and I never did! Here it is: I don’t believe condoms protect you from herpes; I’ve read too many posts (‘way too many!) by people who got it while using one–males and females. My soulmate and I have never used condoms except for what they are intended: birth control. I also believe they often bring on ob’s due to increased friction during intercourse. So what have we been doing for 12-13 years to protect him? First, we…
I thought I would add to this and keep it going. I was just diagnosed with Herpes I & II. I just got the news shortly after my engagement to my fiance. My fiance didn’t give this to me either. I’ve had this for years, but the symptoms were mild so I didn’t know it was herpes. I’ve been more freaked out by it than my boyfriend. He has been great about it. He hasn’t been tested yet, but he has informed me that we are sticking together whether he has herpes or not. He also said that he will…
I’ve thought for so long that because of my herpes, no one would want to date me or be with me. This, in fact, is not true! I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and he was the first person to be okay with my having it. We were intimate, and safe, and he has not caught it. I also told my new crush, and he was even more accepting than the last. He told me that he didn’t care what I have, he cares about me and only me, for who I am. This disease does not have to…
Well I've started talking to a new guy we have been talking almost 3 weeks now and we had “the talk” I was upfront and completely honest with him and gave him all the statistics and even suggested a website or two if there was any questions I couldn't answer…and well… HE WAS OK WITH IT!!!!! He said we are all human and bad things happen to good people and that when the time comes for us to have sex then we will just be careful, that he truly respects me even more for being open and totally honest with…
I have had a lot of normal and carefree sex since getting this virus. That all it is, is a virus. I have been with many women and have never passed it along, nor have I been rejected. What you are feeling now is normal, but the more you read about it the more you will realize how insignificant this is and you can live a normal life, including amazing sex. Go to the “Secrets of our Success” section of the Forum and read all the good stories there and you will feel much better. Good luck! Comment originally…
First off, I would like to thank everyone on this site for the helpful advice and support they have provided with all their words. You have no idea what you do for us and what you did for me. I spent many months reading as an outsider and it was until last night I finally took the next step. I’m 26 yrs old and will have been diagnosed with genital HSV1 this March for 1 year. I’ve had pretty much every thought, feeling, and emotion most people have felt in their first year of dealing with herpes. I was at…
I have H, my bf does not. We have a very healthy sex life. You definitely will find someone that loves u enough for it not to matter. Herpes does not define who u are. its just one thing you have. there are worse traits people have than Herpes… With herpes u feel so low about yourself in the beginning you feel worthless. But to move on u have to face up to it and love yourself…. People with herpes are not, not aloud to have sex or “as much sex” as someone without it. Its the precautions you take and the…
I was of the generation that was told herpes was only contagious during an outbreak. So I had several sexual partners (some with condoms and some without) and never gave it to any of them. I met my husband in the early 1990′s, we have never used condoms and he has never had any sign of having herpes. Before I knew what viral shedding was and realized that was what the tingling feeling I was having was, we did have sex many times during this period. The only time we abstained was if I actually had an outbreak. So yes,…
I had H the day we were leaving for vacation. Unbeknownst to me, he was going to propose on the vacation. He still did. He was never phased by it. He told me he was in this for forever so if he got it too, well we’d just have it together. However, he has never contracted it, to the best of our knowledge. I have a minor ob during my period and we normally abstain then anyways, so it works ok for us. We never use condoms. We have a 9 month old and while I worried about the delivery,…
I am in a great relationship for 12 years (got in it after finding out about h), and until about a year or two before I started coming to this board, I didn’t think about it too much. I think that is the best way to deal with it. But I started having more frequent outbreaks and so started to look for info (found garlic oil! thank you, SophiaM!) I don’t have too much time right now, but if you want to read about me and my soulmate, who has never gotten h, look back to “does my gf have…
My cocktail of supps has been doing well so far to keep me healthy and my man and I have been having actually quite a lovely sex life… in case y’all were wondering!! I find too that the more I let go of being so concerned about H all the time, i relax and am less stressed out and happier in general which probably helps have less OBs! We abstain when we need to abstain and other then that, we’ve chosen not to use condoms. He’s never showed any signs, and I knock on wood every time I write anything…
I had my first OB within a month on meeting my bf. I was so scared to tell him about because I thought he would not want to be with me. I was pleasantly surprised when after sobbing my way through telling him he held me, told me that he loved me and said that it changed nothing. Not only did he do that but he said that we would deal with this together and that if he got it it was okay because we were going to be together forever and he would eventually get it anyway. We have…
This Valentine’s day will be my two year anniversary of getting H. When I found out, I thought my world was over. I never thought I would find happiness ever again. I went through a deep depression. I slept all the time, just so I didn’t think. I literally wanted to die. I never thought anyone would ever love me again. About a year later, I went through a “****ty phase”. I figured out that some guys would have sex with me with condoms… and I just started to see sex as no longer an emotional thing. I had never…
I’ve spent the past year being super picky about who I would date knowing that I would have to confess that I get occasional cold sores. Well, I’ve met a wonderful guy and we’ve had the “talk” and I was completely surprised by his lack of a reaction. It seemed like he didn’t understand why I was even disclosing this to him. I even said, “that’s it?” and he goes “well, how did you think I would react”? Once I confessed that he was the first person I had ever told he seemed to understand where I was coming from…
I finally had the “Talk” Last night and wanted to encourage everyone I can. First of all , it went very well. I met this woman about a month ago, we knew each other when we were teens, but surely not relevant. That was 30 years ago. We dated 3 times since then and last night I had the “TALK”. First I’d like to say that the anxiety I faced prior too… Was all a waste of energy and sleepless nights. We know what can happen when we do that. I wish now I would have had it before in…
How did I know I could trust the person I told? I had a feeling about the guy I was going to start dating. He seemed really upfront and valued honesty. He is in law enforcement and is very moral. I got all of this from a guy I was talking to online that I had met on a dating website. I did not know if he had HSV or not when I met him, the website was a regular free dating website. I told him on the second date because he was easy to talk to, and I just…
I went to the doctor, because I thought I had a bladder infection. I ended up being diagnosed with genital herpes. I was shocked, obviously. I literally had no clue how it could have happened to me. When I got home, I started crying, and I didn’t want to tell him right away. I texted him, while he was sitting right beside me, because I didn’t want anyone else to hear. The first thing he said was, “so?” And he hugged me. And told me how much he loved me, and how the only thing he cared about was my…
I was diagnosed with genital herpes on December 22, 2010. I was distraught with this diagnosis. The last thing I ever imagined myself getting was an STD. I’m 19, and have only been with my current boyfriend. We have been together for over 3 years and we have only had sex with each other. When I went to the doctor she said that she was 95% sure that it was herpes. I was in complete denial, I didn’t know anything about herpes and I had a panic attack while the doctor was examining me. I almost passed out, I was…
Many people who find out they’re HSV+ feel like their dating and/or sex life is over. This initial reaction is common, yet exceedingly inaccurate. It’s not a grounded belief. It’s pure emotion speaking, generated from the experience of shock—nothing more. Feelings have a way of making people crazy at times, as we all know. However, this doesn’t mean that they’re correct, as we all know as well. Once education on HSV is provided, it becomes much easier to calm down and accept the reality of the situation. The reality of the situation is simply this: you have a virus. The…
It’s not like those pictures you see in 10th grade health class! I was diagnosed a year ago and this site helped me so much, i just wanted to return the favor with a success story… i got h from my ex-boyfriend after being with him for 3 years. i thought maybe we should break up because of other issues (marriage/kids), but i was so nervous of being single with h. anyway, one day i got the nerve and split up with him, and 3 months later i found myself in a position to sleep with someone i had a…
My ex boyfriend cheated on me and gave me herpes. I was afraid that I would NEVER be loved or want to be touched by anyone again. I told my current boyfriend that I had herpes — he asked me to be his girlfriend 30 minutes later. If they truly care about you, it won’t matter. There are ways around it and I promise you… you ARE LOVED. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
My dad’s first wife had herpes. He didn’t divorce her because she had herpes, he divorced her because she never told him until after they were married. at that point he had already caught herpes. years later he met my mother and he was upfront about it ON THE FIRST DATE! she loved him anyway. so you will find love and if you don’t find love then find me because i will love you! Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
Everybody has herpes. It’s a virus, it doesn’t mean anything about your morals. In any case, nobody but your sexual partners have to know. And chances are good that they too have it, even if they don’t know. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
I have herpes and am now engaged and pregnant with our second child. He still doesn’t have it and he loves me enough to not care and was open-minded enough to get there since I was honest from before the first time we had sex. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
Just wanted to share my experience. I’ve been positive 1 year. Of course I was devastated off the bat. Three months in, I met a friends friend while out for supper. We were making out, I wasn’t pushing things at all, as I was still kinda discouraged. She came home I told her I had it. She said “You’re not having an outbreak right now, are you?”. I said no and that was that! We dated for several months and I broke it off. Still good friends. She was 31, I’m 30. She even wanted to do it without a…
I met a boy a few weeks ago and I straight up told him about the possibility of me having herpes. He still talks to me and our relationship has been growing just like anyone else’s would have. Don’t be shy, give him all the facts, and if they’re worth it, they’ll stay. There are plenty of ways to avoid giving herpes to your partner. Stay calm and stay safe. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
I have been with my current partner for 14 years and we do not use condoms at all. My partner is well informed and has made his own choice not to worry too much about contracting H. As far as we know he has not caught it but he may just be asymptomatic. I know it is difficult when you are not in a serious relationship but hopefully one day you will also meet someone who sees beyond the virus. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
A couple of months ago, I married the man who gave me herpes. I’ve actually never really been upset at him for this. He didn’t know he had it until it was too late, and truly, truly regretted it. In a way, it kind of brought us closer together. We’ve dealt with some hard times together, and every time, it strengthens our bond. We’re both living with GHSV-1, and it plays an incredibly small part in our life. After reading so much about it, it seems like such an insignificant thing to be dealing with. I wish every high school…
So my ex fiance and I have started to rekindle things and are moving back in together. Well…I know “the talk” had to come. I was dreading it!! I was so surprised at how well he understood and he did not make a big deal of it. He just asked how we can be safe. It was such a good feeling to have that kind of response. I felt like a mutant before….and now I couldn’t be happier. Surprisingly people are pretty understanding! Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
The more comfortable you are with this the more likely they will accept. And definitely make sure you know as much as you can about this virus because they will have questions. However, you really don’t have to wait and get to know someone very well before you give the talk. I have given it many times and never have been rejected. I wait until it looks like the relationship is going to be physical, and that has sometimes been on the first date. I just casually ask them if they have ever had a cold sore. No one thinks…
A huge part of the success of the whole ordeal was that I was as calm and confident as possible and totally open about how I felt about the whole thing So I just had my very first talk with my first girlfriend since I broke up with the ex who infected me with GSV2. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month and for about two weeks of that time I was agonizing over working up the courage to have the talk with her. I showed up at her place with two beers and said there was something…
Hi everyone. Thought I’d share a positive experience with you all. I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 early October. Pretty devastating and I’m still coming to terms with it. I’ve been hanging out with a guy for the past month. Someone I never would have expected to start a romance with. We have kissed and cuddled and hung out but beyond that we haven’t done anything else because i have been having a fairly constant out break that is just finally clearing up, and I knew that I had to tell him before sleeping with him. Anyway, yesterday we were…
I remember the first night my boyfriend told me he had herpes. I looked him in the eye’s and told him, “I don’t care”. I still love him to this day even though it was only 9 months ago. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
When i was diagnosed with HSV1 on my genitals a little over a year ago, I thought that my love life was doomed. I honestly thought that there was no possible way that anyone could ever love me and the thought of actually having to tell someone scared the crap out of me. I started talking to Jared 7 months ago. I’ve known him since middle school, but we didn’t stay friends. He lives a few states away so all we ever did was text and talk on the phone. We had an immediate connection and before i knew it…
After being in a 5 year relationship I stayed single for quite some time. I did not go looking for a new partner. But a girl I worked with seemed interested. I was actually quite apprehensive because I did not want to get my heart broken…. of course. I told her that I wanted nothing to do with it unless it was for forever, and she was ok with that. 3 or 4 months later I had an outbreak and was diagnosed with genital herpes. I was horribly devastated. It was a HUGE deal to me because I felt tainted…
I am HSV 1 (most likely genital) + and I am with a HSV- man and we have a completely normal sex life! Lots of cuddling, lying naked together, touching….nothing has changed for me sex wise except 1) I take Valtrex and lysine every day and 2) I tell my potential partner about HSV and the risks associated with it before we have sex. Everything else is the same. I promise, life DOES go on as normal after herpes-including your sex life. It just takes some time to get used to it Come on by the chat room, you will…
I found out I have hsv-1 about 2 months ago. I told my on again/off again boyfriend at the time (we have since completely called it quits) and we talked about it. He said he was more concerned with me than with himself, even though he could already H. All he wanted was for me to be happy.. We had sex with condoms for a while and I didn’t take any medication except Lysine because acyclovir made me nauseous.. He knew about this and eventually we had unprotected sex. I was nervous about it because I obviously didn’t want him…
I was diagnosed a year ago this month (Aug 2010). I cried daily and was depressed for months. Now in Aug 2011, I couldn’t be happier. I met someone in February (six months ago). We actually started talking on the phone in Dec before we met in Feb. He was the first person I dated after learning about my HSV. I was too devastated and scared and depressed to date. I wasn’t expecting the date to turn into anything…I was just thinking I’d get out of the house and try to be normal for at least one night, but we…
I too had an incredible reaction from a boyfriend, it is amazing. You expect to be rejected and instead you hear, it’s no big deal… it is great! Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
Hey, so happy to hear that! I, too, told my serious boyfriend of 3 years, not knowing how he would react. Surprisingly, he said the same thing: – Jeez, you scared me to death, I thought you had cancer or something. – HERPES! I have herpes! – So? That’s ok! – That’s the worst thing!!! – You are crazy. He was sweet, got me flowers the next day, even said he doesn’t care if he gets it because he just wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Of course, I don’t want him to get it…
Hello, I just wanted to explain my first situation telling a guy I have herpes. I’ve been diagnosed a little over a month ago. I was seeing a guy at the time and he was really supportive and blamed himself. We are still not officially together so we are able to date others. He’s gone now for a month on vacation and will return. But in the meantime I started going on dates with other guys. One guy in particular was lots of fun and we had a great time together. We started hanging out a lot and well I…
You know not every person you run into is going to think bad of you. I actually got hsv2 from my boyfriend who didn’t know he had it. Its a matter of finding the right person. The person will accept you and all your issues that come with the package. Even if I had known that my boyfriend had herpes before we got together, I would still have been with him! It's always a matter of love! You’ll find that love conquers all. Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.
It sounds like people in here need the power of some positive thought! I got hsv from my now ex bf, who was the first guy I ever slept with (I did not know he had it and he claims he did not know either). I broke up with him for many reasons, but none of which had to do with hsv. I do not regret spending a year of my life with him or for getting with him in the first place. I think there is a reason for everything. I am still the same smart, funny, devoted and…
I have been so stressed out, crying and scared to tell my Fiance that I have herpes. Out of fear of how he would react to the news. I could not hold it in any longer. I came home and started crying and I told him. He said… ” I thought you were going to tell me you had cancer or something” Well, I guess I don’t know him as well as I thought he did. He says he loves me and there are worse things that could happen. He will get tested when he sees his Dr. I am…
I wanted to share some of my happiness with you all b/c I am living proof that happiness can happen to us all. Four years ago I met this guy and another guy who turned out to be my giver. Unfortunately I picked the guy who would eventually infect me with this life altering disease we all share. So four years of off and on, one cheating episode, two failed engagements, and the gift of herpes later we finally have called it quits. Through all of this time I have remained good friends with the guy that I didn’t chose…
I have told 3 people that I have herpes. All 3 of them cared more about me than a stupid skin disease i contracted out of pure bad luck. They were all willing to work around it, and weren’t worried about contracting it from me. They were very understanding and were happy with the fact that I was honest and up front about it. The way i contracted herpes was through my boyfriend’s (now ex boyfriend) cold sore. None of the men I have had sex with contracted the virus. I avoided sex during outbreaks… (i’ve only had 4 in…
After making out, but before sexual activity, I just stop, make eye contact, and say “Hey. I have a card, and I’m just gonna lay it on the table. I have herpes. Passing it on to you is not very likely because I’m on medication for it and we would use a condom.” I also have a few statistics about transmission rates memorized in case they have questions. If we’re having a discussion about it and not just a quick by-the-by, I also like to mention that 20-25% of the population has it as well, so they may have already…
I thought I’d share my positive experience since reading others happy stories really helped me when I first joined this site. I’ve had genital HSV-1 for over 4 years now – contracted it from my ex boyfriend who broke up with me about 7 months ago. My ex and I were together for about 4 years, and the whole time we were dating I never had to really deal with the fact that I had herpes because he had it too. It was almost as if I didn’t even have it. When we broke up and I started dating again…
I was involved with a girl for 9 years. During the 5th or 6th year we broke up briefly. My now ex g/f slept with someone and contracted H. We got back together and she passed it along to me. I just left her finally 10 months ago. I stayed single for 4 or 5 months then I met the most amazing girl ever. I held out on telling her for a few months. I then told her which was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She was very accepting of me and my issue. We are still…
I told him last night. I was shaking; crying- told him how I contracted it and about how my ex boyfriend was abusive. Told him I loved him and explained I could protect him from getting this and how low the transmission rates were. He was so calm and collected- and just said ‘I understand’ then he started crying and saying how much he loved me and he didn’t care. And how he thought I was going to say something so much worse- that he thought I was going to say I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said…
First, let me assure you that all those thoughts and fears going through your head at this point are normal. It’s very typical to feel that way when a person is newly diagnosed with herpes. But, the fears are unfounded. You did nothing to “deserve” herpes. It is a virus. And your life can go on just fine. Herpes can’t change that unless you allow it to do so. Most of the issue with herpes is because of a stupid stigma which has been manufactured recently. It’s false. Herpes simplex is just a virus, not unlike the flu or chickenpox,…
I was only diagnosed a few months ago, but I hardly think I have HSV. My boyfriend treats me no differently, the friends I told support me, I feel good! I haven’t had any signs of a second outbreak and I don’t panic every time i have an itch or funny feeling down there (I did for awhile) The only weird thing is when I’m with my boyfriend or friends and on the show family guy they mention something about herpes (making fun of it) or in certain movies when they bring it up, or when a random friend says…
You can get married, have kids, anything you want. You just now have a very common, mostly harmless virus. Had you ever had mono, chickenpox or a cold sore? If so, you already had herpes. Do you think people who get cold sores are bad or disgusting? You can live a normal life with this. I know because I have. I have had many great relationships with this and have never been rejected because of it. Perhaps ask your guy friend to come here and learn more about it. The more he knows the more he will see that it…
It is 2 am where I am. I am not up late thinking about the H. I am up late tonight and many nights because I am alone. This is the Secret to our Success area and though I am starting this post with not such a successful tone please here me out. I am not alone because of the H. I am alone because someone that committed to a lifetime of trust, love, and commitment let me down. I stumbled upon this H site and I hope that I have helped people here because I have had HSV2 for…
I found out about 2 months ago now. Ill tell you the first week was torture, waking up to these bumps that hurt, going to the doctors, waiting for the results. OMG waiting for the results had to be the WORST! Almost worse then actually finding out I had Type 2 orally and Genitally. The man that is now my bf, lives up north at the other end of the country. As soon as I found out I called him. He flew down right away. Took care of me, and told me this. “This does not change who you are.…
I have been HSV type 2 (and type one i suspect also) for more than ten years. Getting divorced now and back on the dating scene. I have had the talk seven times and NOBODY has freaked out yet. I have been intimate with 5 out of the 7 women. Other two women choose not too because of herpes ?? Who knows, but nobody has freaked out. I’m new here but i read about ppl being so worried about it and i just wanted to say its not so bad. Id like to talk about the fourth woman who i…
So finally got up the nerves to tell the guy i’ve been talking to (no sex) for several months…n he could sense a long time ago that I had something i wanted to tell him and was holding back my feelings n stuff. So I danced around it for a long time asking him questions about gettin over ur past n letting things that happened in ur past effect ur future blah blah blah…so now he definitely knew i had somethin on my chest n i told him i’m not ready to talk about it. But basically it was too…
I wanted to share my positive story about not being rejected. After being in a long relationship w/ my ex we broke up. I have HSV2, and I thought that there would never be anybody in their right mind that would willingly want to be with me, I came to the conclusion that even though I don’t want to be lonely and by myself, sexless without a companion, that would probably be my fate. So I met this guy at a friends party, and we hit it off, give him my number, well he calls me. I figure what do…
Well just a few days ago I posted “I met a new guy!” and said I’d probably have the “talk” in a couple weeks if all went well. All went so extremely well that I had the talk on our first “real” date! So unlike me…but I couldn’t help it. What a sweetheart he is! Smart, sexy, tolerant, eccentric, funny, real, sensitive, affectionate, caring, loves music, so very comfortable to be with that I’m still pretty awed by it all. The talk was easy as pie. I wasn’t even nervous. I just came right out and said it. We talked…
Hello all, long time lurker, decided to have a go. Have had herpes for 4+ years now, and I can say it gets better with time. I like alot of you thought my life was over, but now it is more of an afterthought. When first diagnosed I would get outbreaks constantly, which I believe was caused from stressing over this. Now with time, I may get 1-2 very small outbreaks a year (last a few days). I don’t know if my immune system just started to adjust, or the fact that I do not stress out about it as…
What’s your herpes dating story?
Please post an anonymous comment below to help others see that herpes really doesn’t have to interfere with having great sex or great relationships. We’d love to hear your story.
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- 1.He liked me enough that he wants to get to know me and not to base me off of one thing like herpes
- 2.The talk was easy as pie. I wasn’t even nervous. I just came right out and said it.
- 3.There is always hope. Life could be worse folks.
- 4.Herpes simplex is just a virus, not unlike the flu or chickenpox. And your life can go on just fine.
- 5.My boyfriend treats me no differently, the friends I told support me, I feel good!
- 6.Had you ever had mono, chickenpox or a cold sore? If so, you already had herpes.
- 7.I have had HSV for thirty years. It has been such an insignificant part of my life.
- 8.LIVE YOUR LIFE! Don’t give this virus any more thought then you have to
- 9.I’m new here but i read about ppl being so worried about it and i just wanted to say it’s not so bad
- 10.Read the acceptance stories n never thought it was real……….
- 11.I wanted to share some of my happiness with you all b/c I am living proof that happiness can happen to us all
- 12.If the person really cares about you, they’re going to accept you the way you are without judging you for your stupid skin virus.
- 13.I like to mention that 20-25% of the population has it as well, so they may have already been with someone who has herpes.
- 14.Life isn’t over just because you have herpes. You will find someone to accept you – and it will be wonderful.
- 15.She told me that she wants to be mine forever and she doesn’t care if she gets it or not
- 16.I should have told him so much sooner. It really is true that if the person loves you they won’t care.
- 17.They will be happy you told them and will still like you because they realize how little it means about you as a person
- 18.The person will accept you and all your issues that come with the package
- 19.While you can find someone who does not have hsv, they will have some other imperfection that is something you have to overlook or learn to accept… it’s just a matter of picking your poison!
- 20.He says he loves me and there are worse things that could happen
- 21.You expect to be rejected and instead you hear, it’s no big deal… it is great!
- 22.He doesn’t care if he gets it because he just wants to be with me for the rest of his life
- 23.My boyfriend told me he had herpes. I looked him in the eye’s and told him, “I don’t care”.
- 24.I hope at least one person can read this a get a little piece of mind. I know it’s hard to picture yourself being happy with herpes, but it is possible!
- 25.We have been married for 2 1/2 years now and she has not been infected
- 26.I promise, life DOES go on as normal after herpes-including your sex life.
- 27.The important thing to remember is that they are mature enough to make their own decisions. Just make sure you educate them.
- 28.He asked a couple of questions about the outbreaks and how long I had dealt with it. Then he said, “We’ll deal with it together.”
- 29.Don’t be shy, give him all the facts, and if they’re worth it, they’ll stay
- 30.I have been with my current partner for 14 years and we do not use condoms at all. My partner has still not caught it.
- 31.It’s seriously no worse than the common cold. Maybe even less of a problem than that. Something that used to feel so scary to have has dissolved into nothing more than a minor inconvenience.
- 32.I felt like a mutant before….and now I couldn’t be happier. Surprisingly people are pretty understanding!
- 33.No one thinks cold sores are bad things and chances are they have had one. Then I say I get cold sores but not on my face.
- 34.A huge part of the success of the whole ordeal was that
- 35.This is proof that just because you have herpes does NOT mean people are going to run for the hills when they find out
- 36.If they truly care about you, it won’t matter. There are ways around it and I promise you… you ARE LOVED.
- 37.So you will find love and if you don’t find love then find me because i will love you!
- 38.It’s a virus, it doesn’t mean anything about your morals. And chances are good that they too have it, even if they don’t know.
- 39.I have herpes and am now engaged and pregnant with our second child
- 40.I literally wouldn’t have believed how insignificant of an issue it has been if you told me a year ago. Woohoo!!!
- 41.The initial reaction to herpes is common, yet exceedingly inaccurate. It’s not a grounded belief. It’s pure emotion speaking, generated from the experience of shock—nothing more.
- 42.Anyone who has herpes will confirm that the stigma is far worse than the actual thing.
- 43.We are now married. He is still negative, and we don’t use condoms. True love prevails…. even over herpes.
- 44.He was completely fine with this and I think telling him may have brought us closer.
- 45.It is mostly effortless and simple. But have your facts together because they ask questions and you want to be confident and prepared to answer them. IT WORKED OUT GREAT!
- 46.HSV doesn’t make every relationship more long term or serious but it did for us and it worked out well.
- 47.The first thing he said was, “so?”
- 48.Herpes saved my relationship and made it better than it was before. I hope this helps one realize that it is really not that bad.
- 49.It’s pretty amazing there are kind people still out in the world who really look beyond a lot of things and right into who you are. They do exist.
- 50.Herpes does not define who u are, it’s just one thing you have. There are worse traits people have than Herpes…
- 51.Yes, it is possible to have a long term relationship without passing this onto your partner.
- 52.He told me he was in this for forever so if he got it too, well we’d just have it together. We have had a 9 month old and everything was fine.
- 53.I’ve had 4 boys, 2 after my primary ob, and have never felt that h has affected my life too much.
- 54.I find too that the more I let go of being so concerned about H all the time, i relax and am less stressed out and happier in general which probably helps have less OBs!
- 55.H has changed nothing in my relationship, our sex life is great
- 56.He knows that he may end up with it. He also knows that he may end up with it (or something worse) if he ever has sex with anyone in the world!
- 57.This virus is only as important as you make it. If you think of it as a minor annoyance then that’s all it will be.
- 58.This disease does not have to control your life! It does not have to take over your relationships, and you shouldn’t let it!
- 59.To those of you who were struggling like I was thinking there wasn’t any hope in finding love, there is hope
- 60.You will realize how insignificant this is and you can live a normal life, including amazing sex
- 61.He loves me for me and i couldn’t be happier
- 62.It is possible for someone to love you enough to look past HSV
- 63.We were together for 4 years and I never passed it to him
- 64.Found out that many guys won’t mind
- 65.I refuse to let HSV stop the many plans I have laid out before me
- 66.You know what? 4/5 have been totally cool with it…
- 67.Relationships & Dating with Herpes
- 68.Shameless Success Story – Happily in Love
I started to date a guy a few weeks ago. I was upfront from the get go that I had HSV-2. He didn’t seem to care until he didn’t “feel” well. He thought he had contracted HSV-2 which he didn’t. I was supportive of him when he was stressing over it. He started to ignore me and gave me the “you’re a great girl” speach but he can’t be with me because of my condition. Of course, he waited till 2 days after Christmas to confirm my suspicions. He didn’t care that I had HPV and he admitted he probably had that himself (potentially more harmful than HSV-2).
It hurt my feelings to be rejected. I understand his concerns of not wanting it but there were other underlying reasons he wouldn’t talk about.
It hurts to be rejected, hurts even more when it’s because someone made you sick and lied about their health.
Forever affected, forever alone
It was about a month ago I was diagnosed with Herpes and I was in complete shock to say the least but I had no one to blame by MYSELF. From that day forward I made a promise to myself that the next person I had sex with will be my husband and someone I truly cared about . Being a 19 year old college student it seemed kinda unrealistic but I have to do what’s best for me and my body so I can reduce the chances of any outbreaks. I can’t had any outbreaks so far and would love to keep it that way ! God showed me from this experience that he loves me unconditionally because there could be WAYYY worse than herpes. Getting herpes made me realize that sex isn’t what it’s cracked up to be and you shouldn’t give your body away to just anybody because things like this can happen. Now this was the chance to change my whole lifestyle around and I wasn’t gonna let my god down like I feel let I let myself down. I’ve learned from this blog that you can have a healthy relationship and life with herpes and you can’t let this stop you, you just have to be more cautious now
Thank you for sharing.
I need advice. I was given this by an ex boyfriend. I thought my life was over. I met a wonderful guy and but he moved for a new job. I eventually told him 3months in (before we had sex) that I had HSV2. I didn’t want to fly out to see him if he didn’t want to continue the relationship. He said he was okay with it. We were dafe at first but then he said he didn’t care and that he loved me. We were going strong and almost at the year mark; we have been traveling back and forth and only have a year left to go before I could move out there. The beginning of November he found out he had it and I went to visit for thanksgiving and he was hot and cold. Not nice. Fast forward to December right before Christmas and he said he doesn’t know how he feels about me (I love you but not in love with you right now). He said he was being unfair and resentful and doesn’t want to be that way. We didn’t break up. He said he needs more time. How likely is it that he will stay with me? Anyone had this experience where their partner changed their mind about the relationship after contracting it? He is almost 33 btw and I am 27- if that matters.
My dating life has been pretty much non-existent after years of being single for fear of infecting anyone. I’ve made a great in this guy that had all the qualities that I want in a man but he doesn’t know my status and we’ve kept it platonic. I purposely had a disagreement because I want to end things without him knowing my status. Bear in mind, we’ve never had sex or anything of that sort but we’ve felt the connection for months now without saying anything to each other.
I just feel doomed and alone in this. I also feel as if I join a dating site nothing will come of it so I would love to know where I can find a nice enough man who also has herpes.
It’s not the end but I don’t want to pass in this gift to anyone.