40 years with Herpes

I am a 57 year old woman who contracted herpes at age 17. After living with H. for 40 years, I wanted to share my knowledge through experience with others.

I hope any info I share will help you.

I contracted genital H through oral sex from my BF who had a cold sore in his mouth. I don’t know if people realize that you do need to abstain from sex with any kind of cold sore.

If you contract genital Herpes..believe me, you WILL KNOW IT. They are blisters clear liquid filled like the kind many people get in their mouths..or on their face. You can also get it near your eyes. You can spread it around if you have an outbreak.

I don’t know if this happens to everyone but when an out break is coming on, I feel itching or tingling in that area a few days before a blister appears. I have hardly ever been “surprised” because I know and am in tune with that feeling.

I can tell you that the first few years with H. was bad… I used to get an outbreak almost every month at first, around my period…stress related? I don’t know. It was painful but I dealt with it. Compresses. They didn’t have RX for it back in the 70’s.Throughout the years..I have had outbreaks less and less often. Also less blisters. IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!

I have gone over 2 years w/o an outbreak . If I do get a blister it’s usually only one and doesn’t much affect my life at all. All I do is abstain from sex. Wear underwear to bed..and wait a week to 10 days..not a big deal.

I have had children..the first was C section because I wasn’t sure if I had healed all the way from an outbreak. The second was vaginally, no problem. Having children vaginally is not an issue if you do not have an outbreak.

I have NEVER EVER given H to anyone else. I was married for 2o years..my husband did not get it. I have been in several long term relationships consisting of years..and have never given to them.

You can have a normal sexual relationship. The most important thing to remember is to watch for the signs of an outbreak..ABSTAIN FROM SEX..for up to 10 days and always always be honest and upfront about having H with anyone and let them make a choice to have sex with you. Use protection; but in a long term relationship it is not necessary if you build trust with that person. They must trust that you know when to abstain. If you’re not sure until you learn your body..use protection.

You do not want to infect those you love..or anyone for that matter.My opinion on information I have read that says you can give herpes to others w/o having an outbreak is COMPLETE BS! After 40 years I think I should know. Don’t believe all that you read from some “specialist” who has never LIVED with it.

So life goes on .. you will not be ruled by herpes. DON’T LET IT DEFINE YOU. It is not the end of the world. Use common sense..learn your body cues..and remember to abstain during an outbreak.

Comment originally published on the Honeycomb Herpes Support forums.