Dating with Herpes: Virtual Communities and Online Dating

Anyone who has lived with herpes while being single has come up against a multitude of physical and emotional hurdles when it comes to dating and meeting new partners..

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One of the most significant, and perhaps under discussed, is the sense of isolation in the dating world.  Yet, the very prevalence of the disease points toward a vast community of people who are living with herpes.  The Centers for Disease Control reports that approximately one in five women and one in nine men ages 14-49 have the herpes simplex virus.  So, while feelings of hopelessness, isolation, and depression can obviously be attributed to people who have the virus, it is essential to remain aware of the fact that, if you have the disease, you are anything but alone.

Everyone feels the deep drive to find a romantic partner to share their life with, and herpes sufferers do not need to feel that their options are stymied, limited, or cloaked in shame regarding issues of having the disease, such as disclosure.  Below, we will explore some of the online options for herpes sufferers to talk, meet, and connect.

To begin, disclosing to a date or potential romantic partner that one has herpes has been a topic of discomfort and stress since the disease became somewhat commonplace.  Fears of rejection, disappointment, and loss can run rampant in the minds and hearts of herpes sufferers when letting potential loved ones know that they have the virus.  Likewise, attempting to date and find romance can be scary and even daunting.  But, with the advent of the Internet, and all the possibilities of virtual communities, people with herpes have a platform to meet others who are afflicted as well.

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This type of opportunity can immediately lessen the pressure and strain of disclosure while simultaneously granting two people an empathetic bond towards each other

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Moreover, having herpes can be viewed similarly to any multitude of common characteristics that can help bind two people closer together, such as religious preferences, cultural identities, lifestyle practices, hobbies, and the like.  So, the incredibly vast and multi-layered world of virtual dating and online herpes communities is an ideal setting for meeting potential dates and life partners also living with herpes.  Further, the cloak of any perceived shame and isolation can be lifted away when viewing dating with herpes.  That is, herpes is a characteristic and not a negative, all-encompassing identity.

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Herpes does not define an individual, but is simply an aspect of their life

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To delve a little deeper into specific sites, hmates.com is an ideal place to start.  The site is a completely free online dating community dedicated specifically to people suffering from herpes and HPV (the Human Papillomavirus).  And, with nearly 25,000 current members, the site boasts that their community is growing rapidly.  On their homepage, a decree reads that “HMates.com was created for people with H, by people with H, and is staffed by volunteers with H, so we relate.”  So, this site provides a positive, caring platform for herpes sufferers to meet and browse available singles who also have herpes and/or HPV.  In addition, the site provides valuable medical information, privacy features, photo galleries, chat rooms, live video feed, and advanced search options. It is important to add that the site also emphasizes that the community is available for people solely looking for friendship, as well as people looking for romantic relationships.

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So, if you happen to have herpes, do not fear a life riddled with loneliness and isolation!

It is time to step out of any self-imposed or socially garnered darkness in regards to finding companionship.  The doors of disclosure (and any other perceived limitations of having and living with herpes) do not have to control your ability to find acceptance and love in the massive world around you.

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Start exploring the vast virtual world of online herpes communities made just for people like you..